erratic.

Most people get frustrated when life knocks them down. Most people just give up and curl up, piling up their pain and wait for them to explode. Most people take the wrong turn and end up in collateral damage. I don't get it, why can't people see that there's no way out? Sometimes when life knocks you down so hard, you feel like there's no rebound for it. You start to run to people and rant about your problems, go on twitter and tumblr to find relatable quotes to feel like you're not alone, cut yourself, hurt yourself, blame yourself. Why? Because your definition of "there's no way out" and mine is completely different. I used to be so depending, so clingy and so lost. Maybe all the wrong turns I took led me to the perfect destination. After a while, after problems and conflicts just rain on you constantly, you start to realize that you can't do this on your own. Being strong just isn't good enough. Standing on your own won't get you t...

It's okay to be opinionated, have your own point of view,  have a say of what you think and give a sense of what you feel. Nothing's wrong with laying out something to someone else from your perspective. But then again, there's also nothing wrong with being tolerate and considerate about what others have to say as well. Generally, everyone will be granted to have freedom of speech. No one will be able to forbid you from criticizing, questioning, demanding etc. As such, we humans have this ability to respond to the situation. For instance, since you have said what you wanted to and given your insights on that issue, it's fair to give someone else to lay out their point of view as well. Well, the thing getting in the way here is when you tend to cover your ears and eyes from listening or hearing other people's comments. I don't necessarily mean that you are enforced to consent with the other person BUT it doesn't mean you can shut down other people's...

"She may laugh out loud, be outspoken, always playful and never serious. But she has feelings. She gets hurt when you insult her. Especially when you blurt out really mean comments. Just because she's really good at hiding the pain, doesn't mean you can forget about being considerate towards how people might feel. For all you know, the happiest girl is the girl who cries herself to sleep.. Releasing all the pain she kept inside"  Stop- Just stop. Everyone has feelings. Even the happiest. Even the joker. Stop- Just stop. Nothing's wrong with trying to be better, and excel. If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. Stop- Just stop. Stop demanding, criticizing, asking. I'm human. Pain exists in me. Don't you ever forget that. My loudest laugh can never overcome my immense pain. Don't you ever forget that. I'll forever keep putting on a smile on my face, chin up. But this heart, this heart will always tremble and be encir...

15 days has passed by yet the feeling hasn't hit me yet. I'm still overwhelmed and wrapped by the dullness of life. When will I actually get to feel that 2012 will be a good year for me? Seems like everyone's having a good year so far but as I said, I'm still encircled by discontent. I'm fretting about the future, clinging to the past, dreading with the present. Seems pathetic, doesn't it? Trust me, it's not pathetic as it actually looks like. I just.. want 2011 back. I know that's impossible and too much to ask for, but wishing and hoping is never something bad. The only thing that's getting me through the day honestly, is hopes and dreams. Merely hopes and dreams.  A slight glimpse of achievement doesn't enthrall me, when it used to be my long-term happiness. Something that's  actually a solid proof that I'm not completely a waste of time, that my life, isn't a waste of.. soul. I don't fancy heart to heart talks anymore, ...

What is it with me with caring so much about what the society has to say? What is it with me with being so afraid of what people might think about it or accept me? What is it with me with not being able to set my priorities straight? What is it about me that makes everyone get over me so quickly? What is it about me that has to be so damn hard to reach out to happiness? What is it about my life that just seems to disappoint me, and people I love? I know it's not my decision to let the society talk but it's my choice to listen to them or not. I know, I know. Quotes like those are all around Twitter and Tumblr and I wish someone would at least "walk the walk", yknow? I'm very complicated and I've never really had self-esteem in my dictionary. I need a very solid proof that someone could actually ignore the society and walk in their own shoes feeling proud. I've so many things to do about myself, but yes, I don't have a strong personality, in fact, I...

They say Twitter and Tumblr is the best place to run when you're down, I say, my blog. I mean like seriously, these people on Twitter just annoy the hell out of me. People complaining to be fat and whining about the small imperfections. Yes I may come across two or three people who understands me but it just won't do it. And Tumblr just surrounds me with all this people I can't be and all the things I can't have. So, why punish myself? These past few days, I've been spending quite sometime with my bestfriend, Sofea. Slept over at her house as well and laughed till we went starving. I really did have a great time with her. Made some new friends as well! This girl! I haven't seen her for two years! I miss you!  Spent the entire day at KLCC today to shop for winter clothes. Still, I have no excitement spurning on me. I'm such a heartless person. Haih. Seriously man, NOTHING EXCITES ME ANYMORE. I'm so sick of being this too-hard-to-be-amazed...

Hey, Assalamualaikum guys! I know I have not been updating my deprived blog quite some time and it wasn't cause I was busy or anything, I purposely left it "abandoned" the whole week so that when it's Friday, I have something relevant and decent to blog about. Well, to start off, my week has been an utter blast. Started off the week by going to Kanchanaburi with parents and grandparents. Kanchanaburi is not a particular place to have "fun" cause there's not much to enjoy on. It's mostly sightseeing and shopping. There weren't any Halal restaurant either so food wise, there isn't much to elaborate. But surprisingly, Kanchanaburi was so calm, cool and quite. I find it really relaxing and calm. The weather, the people, the trees, the rivers. It was really calming, for me, at least. Went to school the following days and WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY was the bomb! (y) On wednesday, I had to perform in a christmas concert with my bestfriends, Sofi a...