erratic.

I have always been a sucker for either fashion or "pretty" things. When I was younger, I thought I will sooner or later go through that phase where my intuition is able to guide me to dressing up fashionably or with some edginess - but I'm seventeen and I still dress up like a moth when most people my age are dolled up like a butterfly. It's unfair to say that I have no tried, I have. Sometimes I try to mix and match what I already have in my closet but that doesn't seem to work out. Sometimes I try to play with some accessories but I either look too simple or simply over the top. And when I shop, I try to buy a head-to-toe outfit and mentally pair it up with my other clothing that I already have but nothing ever seems to hang quite right on me. I begin to think about this even more frequent now that I watch "How do I look" - a realty tv show about setting people up for a fashion intervention. What influenced me the most is that mini heart changing spe...

Hats off to Ryan Murphy for such a heart felt episode. Also a huge round of applause to all the outstanding actors on glee, especially Santana, Puck, Finn's parents and of course, his other half, Rachel. I can't tell you how long I've been anticipating for this episode. I've been waiting for that closure, that "proper" farewell to Finn. In light of Finn, that was definitely one of the best episodes in history of Glee. I was particularly blown away by Santana's acting which didn't really come across as acting because it was incredibly real and her emotions really came through in the scene with her and Sue. What really got me was also Mr Schue and his shell cracking up, letting his emotions gush out on Finn's sweater. I mean.. how can I not cry along side him? I picked up a few quotes from this episode that's ingrained in my head for some reason; "Do you really wanna be on your deathbed thinking, ooh thank god no one knew I was kind...

I always try and keep a positive outlook on things, sometimes my optimism is ridiculous. I always believe that there's a solution for everything and nothing's a dead end, everything will be okay in the end. Well you know what, my eyes are getting wider and more things are starting to sink in in me. Sometimes you will face a situation that won't offer you a way out but there's an alternative to it - you gotta shake it out. Hug it out. shout it out. do whatever the hell you want to just leave the matter there, unresolved. If there is a solution for it, sure, go for it. but i realize that the best thing to do when you can't really think of a way to, for example, win back your lover, make up with your friend, mend your broken heart and whatsoever, is to just leave it at that and like, idk, just stop thinking about it really??? this sounds very impractical, it probably is but I'm just sharing what I've learned from past experience that "hardwork", or ...

No worries, my title has no link what so ever to my emotions, my thoughts or this post in general. It's just my current favorite song and the chorus keeps repeating "she's not me" in the most beautiful way possible so it's stuck in my head, hence the title. I haven't written in so long and the mood to write just struck me eventhough nothing bizarre is going on in my life right now. I just have a few thoughts here and there, some that I harbored over the past few weeks. These things generally revolve around the issue of insecure girls. I just cannot. The word "insecure" has been overused so many times by so many girls that many are getting the smallest things mistaken with "insecurity". I mean yes insecurity is a normal feeling and I'd be lying to you if I said I've never been insecure, of course I have but really tho, how long are you gonna feel sorry for yourself? How long are you gonna yearn for someone else's beauty and co...

As corny as it seems, I have to confess, I'm a huge huge fan of quotes. I love them. Whenever i see one that hits me and flashes a memory in my head, I just fall in love with quotes even more. Most of them dont necessarily help me get through anything in particular or make me a better person or anything but for the most part, quotes in general help put things, put life, in perspective. Here are some of my favorite ones: "In the end, everything's gonna be okay. If it's not okay, then it's not the end"  I dont know about you guys but some people, like me, we have constant worries that goes on for years. That one worry about the unpredictable and unknown future burdens our thought every single day. It's fair to say that these negative worries are what define me, at times. But nonetheless, when this quote rings in my head, I feel somewhat relieved to know that the best is yet to come.  "Never regret. If it's good, then great. If it's bad, the...

Dear loved one, I have my utmost respect, love and care for you and I look up to you so much that every move you make is like a breath of fresh inspiration for me. You place a golden place in my heart, one that I swear will never ever be replaced by whomever nor whatever. Literally speaking, I can imagine myself willingly taking a bullet for you because if you die, the pain of having to live without you is more torturous than taking a bullet. But why... Why do you say these things to me? Why do you lower down my self-esteem so much and why do put out any ray of hope for me? Is it because you can't tell that I feel this way for you? Is it because you think I could do better in showing my emotions? You present yourself as someone with such intelligence yet when it comes to understanding someone you've known, taught and been with for what feels like a millennium - you fail, miserably. Listen. Please.. just... listen to my words. Listen to what I have to say and for once in ...

Hi everyone. I know it's been super long since I last posted. I got a bit busy with studies and got even busier after my igcse and now it's approximately the second week of summer and I've finally found some time to just sit down, waste time and ultimately, write. The past few months has gone by so quickly that I didn't manage to "be in the moment". I dont even know if that makes sense to some of you but what I'm basically trying to say is that everything went by incredibly quickly that when I wanna recollect my memories of the past, the events that happened seems to be shorter than what it really was. I was so stressed up and tired with studying a few months back and I dreamt and longed for the day I can bid goodbye to IGCSEs and now that it's officially done and over with, admittedly, I'm over the moon but at the same time, the feeling that I thought I'd experience was minimized and it kind of died down a bit, by day. Don't get me wr...