erratic.

It's easy to forget about the great things in life, when there are things shadowing like a dark mist over those great memories. Life's stupid and unfair that way, I think. We're more likely to pay more attention to negatives and overlook the overwhelming positives that's right under our nose. It's unnatural for people to laugh over the same joke but it's completely human to cry over the same thing over and over again. I baffle myself sometimes, how in one second, I can be the happiest person alive and all it takes is one grain of negativity and my mood just plummets. I wish I had a more grateful and thankful nature, I know for a fact there are so many things in my life and around me that a lot of people would like to have and I know that I am luckier than most but I still refuse to train myself to love these things because loving is hard. Hating is the easiest thing one can do, it's love that takes work. But the end of my teen hood is approaching and the...

Getting judged can be really scary, especially if it's in public and your loved ones get dragged in as well. I feel like there's a fine line between advising, judging and shaming - although these three can easily get mingled up, the effect of individual actions are groundbreaking. However, as horrible as it is, these are the things in life that everyone will and have to go through at least once in their lifetime. My first time happened at a point in my life where I understood what my emotions meant and when I cared about what other people think because I'm old enough to understand why certain things happen. I guess it wasn't really my first time, but it sure felt like it. That day, I have never felt so ashamed and shunned. I read about other people being publicly shamed and humiliated and I read from books how it feels like to be shamed and humiliated but I could never quite relate to it. That's because I never actually experienced a real shaming. You see, I hav...

Something about these streets draw your attention to the people. You look at as many people as you can, with the big and dodgy lights as backgrounds. In your car there is music, but somehow your mind pays more attention to the faint sound of the background music outside. The beat drops, foreign words are heard, lights still flashing. So many faces, so many stories behind those faces, so many walks of life walking on the same streets, so many motives, purposes, intentions, reasons. Yet as people drive past these streets, we all come up with a collective impression - low class, cheap, meaningless. Maybe it's because of the skanky looking prostitutes that linger along the whole stretch of the road, siding men of every kind; religious, miserable, rich. Maybe it's the cheap selling things that they sell at the stalls and the aggressively pushy sellers that desperately wants you to buy their stuff. But people forget to go a step deeper and wonder why these prostitutes are there...

Have you ever enjoyed things you're not supposed to enjoy? Fantasize things that would be deemed as horrendously immoral if it were projected? Went unconsciously over the line? Fill up with anger only to explode in utter regret? Move in a fury and hurt innocent people? Inflict pain on harmless souls? Lose all logic and temper? Have no control over your movements and emotions?  Please tell me you've all considered this at some point of your life.

That's why they say, think before you speak. It's not so much about the content, because without thinking, we naturally know what we're about to say. The thinking dictates how you say it. I can't tell you how many knowledge, infos, good advises I've missed out on due to the poor deliverance. If you really want to make a point, then god damn it, make sure it's a hella sharp point. Don't just say it, mould it in a way that will be received and accepted in the way you want it to be received and accepted. This isn't a case of people being manipulative or people sugercoating stuff, it is simply to deliver the message well. If you wanna be a second hand hipster and say "it's not about what others think, it's about what I think" then go ahead and OH WHILE YOU'RE AT IT have fun building squares around your neighborhood while the rest of us are building circles where people can actually join us. I am so sick and tired of thinking in hindsigh...

She is luckier than most, but she deems to be the saddest. She tells people to be grateful of what they have, because she doesn't know what it feels to lose. Out of nowhere her heart darkens, all the light is dimmed. There is happiness in her heart, but it seems to stay in the past. What was good once in her life didn't live on, So she wondered why bother seeking any good in life only to end up where she started. For some people, walls were closing in. For her, walls were growing further and further away. Day by day, she is left with a bigger space than before. Empty, yet desperate space. She wonders what she should do with this space. To fill it; but with what? Anticipation? Events? People? Circulating around this question, she fell dizzy, and fell to the cold hard ground. And then she felt a familiar pain. The cold hard ground. She felt this pain before. It drew her in, so she stayed stuck to it. Then as the coldness started to permeate her soul, Her soul wa...

I have always been a sucker for either fashion or "pretty" things. When I was younger, I thought I will sooner or later go through that phase where my intuition is able to guide me to dressing up fashionably or with some edginess - but I'm seventeen and I still dress up like a moth when most people my age are dolled up like a butterfly. It's unfair to say that I have no tried, I have. Sometimes I try to mix and match what I already have in my closet but that doesn't seem to work out. Sometimes I try to play with some accessories but I either look too simple or simply over the top. And when I shop, I try to buy a head-to-toe outfit and mentally pair it up with my other clothing that I already have but nothing ever seems to hang quite right on me. I begin to think about this even more frequent now that I watch "How do I look" - a realty tv show about setting people up for a fashion intervention. What influenced me the most is that mini heart changing spe...