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BULLYING.  HATRED. GETTING EVEN.  REVENGE.  Inhale love, exhale hate.  Hey everyone! Last night, I was watching this show called "Girl Fight" on Diva Universal. To summarize the info about the show; It's basically about a girl who was not so popular and she wanted so bad to be in the "popular" group. She started to do nice things to the girls and try her best to get the girls to like her. On her way to becoming one of the "popular" kids, she bitched about them online. She eventually got into the popular group and then, one of them found out about what she wrote. They were outraged when they saw that. *I personally think they were over reacting* So, they ended up with beating the girl up HALF DEAD. My heart moved when I saw her getting jumped by her own friends. THEY'RE GIRLS and they act like bunch of animals. It was really pathetic to see. What dawned upon me was that, this case, this scenario, actually happens in real life. It does. I...

My stay in Singapore so far has been an utter blast! I particularly enjoyed universal studios though, it is indeed a great place. So today's my last day. I guess im not doing anything today other than finish up all my homework :3 Sad life.. i know. 24 hours from now, I'll be back in hell. hell = school :( Oh well. Back to reality lah kan? So yes. This is really pathetic. It's very short and pointless. It's 8.38am in the morning and blogging seems something productive to do at this time. Gonna start doing my work at 9. Right…

Regret is taking over me, I swear. What have I got myself into?! :( Why did I take history? So much work to do. Gah, I should've listened to what my friends say, take art or ICT. But being the stubborn me.... I hate myself for this. I swear, if I end up failing, I might as well commit suicide. Can't take this crap anymore. Moreover, I just received my coursework from Mr.Barton... And it was hell of a lot of reading and researching. It's due on January something. NOOOOOOO. I'm going for a holiday on december. WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I seriously hate myself now. ;c On the flip side, hello! I'm in Singapore now :D Taking a time off from dramas and school and just calm my titz for a bit. Eventhough it's just for a few days, it's worth the break. It's desperate. I'm desperate.Wuuuuu. I'll update later about my weekend, till then, have a great weekend ya'all!

I am so dead. Physics test tomorrow. Haven't studied at all. hajsdgjsgdhjsgdhjs Feeling sad and don't know why. Feeling like punching everyone. Silence kills. I miss my family so so so so bad. I miss my friends so so so bad. Wanna turn to Allah, but ashamed to face Him. What has happen to me. I've become so insecure and overthinking every little crap. Haih. What have I become.

Eventhough I've said it 1234567890 times  I hate growing up. I despise it with all my heart. Growing up wasn't ANYTHING like I expected. Even the drama I imagined didn't happen. I want stupid irrelevant dramas to happen in my life, I want to make mistakes and feel the urge to learn from it, I want to fall down and never get up, I want to meet the wrong people, I want be forever young. But I'm living like an elderly. I maybe exaggerating, but this is how I feel. I don't feel young. I don't even think I'm living life. I used to be so alive, what happened to me? Where did I take the wrong turn to end up like this? I envisaged my life to be way better than this. It's just.. You know how it feels to be absolutely clueless of where you are, don't you? Yes. We all are effed up in this dark evil world. Things were so easy back then. Things were so easy when the toughest problem I had to solve was 2+2 Why is life being so mean to me? Just let me go o...

You don't need me to prove to yourself that you're enough, that you're good enough. You are whatever you think you want to be, just be it. Don't rely on me on time of needs and bail on me when you've got that. Yes I'm your friend, I know I'm supposed to be there for you. But no, I won't be your back up friend. I've been there. Keeping silence and not tell your peace is just hard to bear with. So no. I won't be there next time you find me. I know it's a vague statement since everytime I helped you, I said, 'anytime'. But, yeah. I don't know. Next time if your intentions are to run to me when you need me and completely ditch me. I'm done being used and tossed. Don't take me for granted. Yes, I'm amazing. I don't need anyone to tell me that. So, don't misuse what I got and what I'm capable of, friend. We're not even friends for a year and you're already creating a rift between us? And we're gettin...

I feel so awkward wishing anyone happy eid. I know i may sound selfish, but I'm not celebrating it as I used to and hence, I just don't have that initiative to wish anyone. But since I'm blogging have lack of things to say, I might as well wish you all a happy eid! :) So, started off the day with pergi solat dekat masjid ni, somewhere in Pattaya. And this makciks were asking me to do something with the bowl of donation that were in my hands, and since they were speaking Thai, I was clueless at best. Pastu makcik tu semua macam apahaaal lah this kid. Well I can't blame them. i do look somewhat like Thai people. So yeah. Quite disappointed though, I didn't get to see the cow being slaughtered. Sad tau?! :( If I get to see it, it would basically bring back some Malaysia-ness atmosphere to me. I mean, I know lah that is Muslim's thing and people from anywhere around the world can do it, but yelah, since I've been seeing cows being slaughtered in malaysia sin...