Realization.

Hi everyone. I know it's been super long since I last posted. I got a bit busy with studies and got even busier after my igcse and now it's approximately the second week of summer and I've finally found some time to just sit down, waste time and ultimately, write.

The past few months has gone by so quickly that I didn't manage to "be in the moment". I dont even know if that makes sense to some of you but what I'm basically trying to say is that everything went by incredibly quickly that when I wanna recollect my memories of the past, the events that happened seems to be shorter than what it really was. I was so stressed up and tired with studying a few months back and I dreamt and longed for the day I can bid goodbye to IGCSEs and now that it's officially done and over with, admittedly, I'm over the moon but at the same time, the feeling that I thought I'd experience was minimized and it kind of died down a bit, by day.

Don't get me wrong, summer so far has been great - good company, good memories made, good times. Right after exams, my friends and I went on a shopping spree, pampered ourselves with massages. My friend and I went to Singapore and obviously did not miss to go to Universal Studios and Sentosa Island. I conquered so many of my fears whilst I was in USS. The rides I thought I'd never go on in a million years turned out to be really amazing. For the most part, we got to scream our lungs out and let loose, after 2 months of sitting still at the table, cramming for exams. Sentosa was a good trip too. We zipped our way through forests and beaches, hung on bars like monkeys, jumped till our V lines hurt and at the end of the day, yet again, I felt like I've achieved so much. Thanks a lot to Sofi tho, for having the patience to steadily encourage me to fight my fears and... yolo. Hahahaha. Overall it was 4 amazing, incredible and deserved days.

I spent the following days in Malaysia, meeting up with friends, old friends, new friends. Catching up with life and all that stuff you do when you meet up with someone you havent seen in a while. You guys know the drill. I even made amends with this friend of mine, which I thought was fated ;) I bumped into him at this restaurant and right then and there, we made up and called it truce.

As for yesterday and today, I spent it with Sofi and Iman. We walked around in KLCC laughing like idiots whilst people around us snickered at what looked like stupidity to them... It's okay, as a trio, we get that a lot. We watched World war z which was initially a substitute for Monster Inc. University but turned out to be an 11/10 kind of movie. Brad Pitt looked so hot in the movie, amazing actor albeit. Us three were so loud (technically Iman and Sofi were the loud ones, I just shared the embarrassment) that we got "shhh" but I can't blame them. They're already babies in general, put them in a cinema that was showing gruesome zombies, you'd expect them to act the way they acted.

Now I'm back home and I feel really sad because the thought just hit me; this time next week I'll be back in Bangkok but everyone's not in bangkok because they're all someplace else having the best summer of their life while I'm stuck in bangkok not knowing what to do or who to meet. Really, when I just realized that this time next week I'll be back in Bangkok, a wave of sadness just crashes me. You know when you feel really sad and your heart feels heavy that only breathing deeply makes you feel slightly better for like 5 seconds and then your heart feels heavy again? Well yes, I feel that now. That's partly why I feel like writing since writing is such a good way to let it all out 

This is why I dislike having a good time; once the good time is over,  bad times take over. And I'll be missing the great times I've had these past few days and wished that I was more "in the moment".


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

processing bad stuff that happened to me

Post-uni life.

When you're the toxic one.