When nothing is certain.

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15 days has passed by yet the feeling hasn't hit me yet. I'm still overwhelmed and wrapped by the dullness of life. When will I actually get to feel that 2012 will be a good year for me? Seems like everyone's having a good year so far but as I said, I'm still encircled by discontent. I'm fretting about the future, clinging to the past, dreading with the present. Seems pathetic, doesn't it? Trust me, it's not pathetic as it actually looks like.

I just.. want 2011 back.
I know that's impossible and too much to ask for, but wishing and hoping is never something bad.

The only thing that's getting me through the day honestly, is hopes and dreams. Merely hopes and dreams. 
A slight glimpse of achievement doesn't enthrall me, when it used to be my long-term happiness. Something that's  actually a solid proof that I'm not completely a waste of time, that my life, isn't a waste of.. soul.
I don't fancy heart to heart talks anymore, I prefer and favor keeping things to myself. Sometimes it's much much better to do so, cause even if I do otherwise, no one can do anything to stop it or change it.

I don't know why I feel so gloomy and wretched these days. It's probably cause I'm getting my PMS soon so moodswings are taking over me OR it could just be reality smacking mah face.

LULULULULULULULULULU. I need cupcakes.

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